Side note to that last emotional babble post… finding an unconditional willingness to live and...

Side note to that last emotional babble post…
finding an unconditional willingness to live and do right by myself doesn’t mean I’m not upset. I think that’s the most difficult part about telling yourself you’ll be okay, eventually, while being kind to yourself in the meantime, is that it doesn’t stop the pain. I’ve had some of the worst few weeks of my life and yet I’ve smiled more and pushed myself to be positive more than I ever have. It’s like betting on a hope, a dream of what may get better, if you just keep going for another few days, if you just choose to love instead of punish yourself. It’s so fucking difficult but I’m proving to myself that it isn’t impossible. Every heartbreak I push through is another step I know I can take again, no matter how much it hurts. It helps to write this out, and by my messages I can tell that sharing has helped some of you as well. So I hope this second emotional babble doesn’t clutter your dash too much and that it finds some of you in a similar time in your life.